Women's Sixth Sense

I don't understand why but women has a rather accurate sixth sense. I have to say I can feel it but I hate it because I really don't know how to deal with it. To confront or to act stupid and give him the benefit of doubt. But what if you found out that he is lying but you just don't know the reason behind the lies? Sometimes I wonder.. What we women prefer to hear? Do we want to know the truth or we prefer to be told things that men think we rather hear. I wanted to believe him but I found out he was not where he claimed he went. So my imagination ran wild as usual. Why did he have to lie? What were they doing there? They had girls with them? They did things that they shouldn't have? Otherwise, why did he lie to me? I have been to that place and I know how complicated it can get. I don't want to question him but my imagination still cannot control itself. It is so much that even in my dreams I am facing the problems of confronting him to find out what I want to know. I can forgive him for not telling me the truth but I want to know why he lied in the first place? Because he didn't want me to misunderstand? There I go again. Forever finding excuses because I don't want to get hurt. Why does it always have to be like that? When I thought I am happy, things just have to screw up. Why do they have to take my happiness away from me? If he thinks this is just a game then maybe I should give it all up and walk away now before I fall even deeper though it will hurt alot now too. Why does he have to lie and then that becomes a forbidden topic when I appear. Isn't that tough? What exactly happened that night which I believed he left very reluctantly because I was kicking up a fuss already. Now I don't know what is it that I want to hear. Can I take it if he told me the truth? How bad can the truth be ? Just why do men have to cheat or lie when they already have someone? Can't they be less cruel and to only hunt when they do not have someone. I am not a toy. I am real and I have feelings. All I want is someone whom I can walk down the red carpet with and be happy all my life. But that seems just so difficult. Something is definitely not right the day he change his password and refuse to tell me his new password and just brushes it off saying that he just felt like changing. So are you going to tell me that you cheat because you just feel like doing it? Now I am beginning to wonder if the first time the thing that I saw was it you or were you really telling me the truth. I am very confused now.

Romantic Freak?

I recall how I used to be a "Romantic Freak". Why so? I used to wish for bouquet of flowers during Valentine's day, my birthday or anniversaries. However, most of the time I only receive the flowers after it is too late. After when I decide to leave. I always had to hint very obviously the type of flowers that I like but probably only once I got them on Valentine's day whereas the other times I receive them it was always too late. I know it is not easy to get Champagne Roses in Singapore or I should say not all floral shops carry them or they try to smoke their way through with pink roses and claim that it is champagne roses. But I think people do change. As much as I still wish to receive flower bouquet but I no longer hint or tell anymore. If he cares and knows me well enough, maybe I will receive them someday. The most ridiculous thing I did ever and I do really feel very bad about it. I ruin a Valentine's Day because he didn't send me any flowers when he knew from the start how much I will like to have it. Because I used to educate him and told him specifically and he did gave me the most beautiful red and champagne roses bouquet on our first V-day together. It was only the first year. However, I feel bad because I did not consider the situation that he was in. But nonetheless, I threw my tantrums and we didn't have our V-day dinner at the Italian restaurant.