This is ME!

This is ME...

An unpredictable girl who does silly things just to make others happy. She gives her all to the one she loves though she gets nothing in return. She tries to smile though she is crying inside. All because...She is yearning to be loved. By one who will treat her dear and love her deep. By one who will not make empty promises but just true from the heart. By one who will be honest with her and hold her hand forever and walk beside her for the rest of her life. By one she can look at and claim proudly, "This is who I wan to walk down the red carpet with."
But the above all is just a fantasy it does not happen in reality.

Sometimes she hides the truth from the people that she cares for most, in fear that the truth might hurt them. However, the person who gets hurt the most is herself. She might feel that it is very painful but she does not regret as long as her friends are well protected. Others might not trust her anymore but to her, the most important thing is that her friends are happy. She gives her all to every friend she makes though she might not be treated back the same way. She never calculates how much she gives but is upset when her friends thinks that she is selfish. She may appear to have many friends but the majority are just fair-weathered friends. When she needs them there, sometimes she can hardly find any around. She thinks alot and maybe a tat too much. She never fails to let her imagination run wild and many times this is causing her alot of heartache and problems. However, she can't stop. The more she cares for the person, the more things get out of hand. She knows that love hurts but she didn't know that it can hurt this much. She chose love over stability and now all that she is left with is her love for HIM but HE has moved on. Sad to say but he seems to be happier without her. She understands that he needs his freedom she does her best to let him go but she is missing him every minute of the day. But He is enjoying himself and ignoring her not knowing that it only causes her heart to bleed and tears to flow.
She knows he has alot of things in mind and that he is worried but all she ever wanted was just to be there for him.
But for now, her love for him have to be contained within herself and she can only watch him from afar now. There is nothing else anyone can do to help her. His friends are unable to help her anymore too and many have said that she deserve better. Better? Maybe true but the better person can never be HIM and she only wants HIM. If it is easy to let go, she will not be holding on for so long since 2yrs ago.

Her family is her all now. She puts up a brave front in front of them all because they needed her support. They need her to be strong no matter how much she aches inside to see her grandfather in this state now. She can only hide in a corner and tear not allowing others to see. It is hard for her to be the pillar of support for the family but she has no choice. She is willing to give up everything just so that her grandfather will recover soon. She is willing to sacrifice everything including herself just so that her grandfather will be well again. Today morning she went into her room to get her working clothes and stared at the empty bed. She has forgotten that her grandfather is in the hospital instead of sleeping in her room now. Her heart ached at that very moment.

Her mind is empty now. All she wants to do is to be with her grandfather and hopefully with the HIM she loves too. But HE no longer wants to see her and all she can do is wait and hopefully be given the chance to explain even if HE does not trust her at all.